Hmm, I don’t think my title really makes any sense. Nontheless, let’s check out what’s on eveyone’s mind, and don’t you even lie to me and tell me your not thinking about it. I know you are, how could you not. The biggest movie of the summer, or maybe of all time, The Expendables is almost here.

So, the brief synopsis, A group of ass kickers go to an island and kick some ass. Yeeeeeeah, that’s a fantastic story line borrowing from the golden era of action movies in the 80′s. I’m not even being a tad bit sarcastic, I love action movies that stray towards the simplistic. Who needs a story, just get some big names and get them doing cool ass things, like fighting eath other and killing shit.

The screenplay was written by Sly, who I have to say has a pretty decent track record when it comes to writing scripts. He wrote all the Rocky’s, did the screenplays for the Rambo’s, Cliffhanger, Over the Top, Cobra. He’s done alot of other projects along the way, but what’s notable is that he does damn decent screenplays and is an even better writer when he does it all himself.

To top it off, Sly’s also directing it. He doesn’t have a lot of directing experience, but what he has done has been commendable. Rocky 2,3, 4, and the newest Rocky Balboa. Not sure who did 5, but considering it was the worst, whlo cares. He also directed the new Rambo which was fantastic. So, Sly knows his action and for this movie, especially one he’s starring in, I wouldn’t want anyone else leading it.

With the Sly love parade over, let’s check out the cast. Hang on, it’s an extensive list with a veritable who’s who of action movie stars and big tough guys.

Sylvester Stallone – Did I mention that in addition to writing and directing, Sly is of course the star. Looking mean and juiced up, Sly’s getting better with age. Not sure about the little goatee thing he’s sporting, I would of went clean or the full beard myself..  but now I’m nit picking.

Dolph Lundgren – Come on, we all love Dolph. The monstrous swedish killing machine has been plagued with a string of straight to video flicks, but amongst action movie stars, he is still nobility in my book. Besides, have yo guys seen THIS recently..?

Jet Li – Not much to say here. I don’t think he’ s ever made a non-action movie, so a no brainer. Besides, we need a token dude who knows martial arts in the movie, and I think his resume might qualify him for that perfect role.

Mickey Rourke – While not a true “action” movie star, he’s made a few gems over the years. I’ll always be a fan of Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man. And come on, he’s was looking good and ripped for the Wrestler..   if your looking for a grizzled mercenary, you can’t find more grizzled than the Rourke.. I mean, look at the dude..

Jason Statham - Alrighty, so more so than most of the people in the movie, Statham’s been pumping out alot of the action movies. Considering the first movie I ever saw him in was Snatch (which wasn’t an action role), he quickly hopped into the “action star of the new decade” role, especially with recurring sequels such as Transporter and Crank. I don’t think he’ll ever be the type of action star that Arnie or Sly are, but he’s a decent second tier actioner.

Randy Couture – Hey, I’m a big UFC fan..  but .  I’ve yet to see someone decently transition from the UFC to acting. Well, not counting of course Rampage, but that Mr. T role was pretty much made for him. I did see Rich Franklin in Cyborg Soldier, and a few other guys in bit fighting roles here and there, but I’m not convinced Randy can act. But hey, he makes an awesome looking merc. If he’s there to fight and just look mean and cool but keep his mouth shut, I’m willing to give him a chance.

Terry Crews – Terry is such a funny bastard. I really hope he’s there for alot of comedy relief. I don’t even know if I can recall an actual action role he’s had.. Gamer? The dude is ripped, looks like a merc, and I’m really hoping he’s gonna have a whole library of one liners during the movie. Besides, whats an action movie without a never ending series of one liners.

Steve Austin – Well, he’s big, and probably decent at acting. I’ve only seen him in a few roles as well, but it might be ok. It’s hard to shake that damn wrestling status though..   I have to assume at some point in the movie, he body slams and/or pile drives someone..  it happens in every movie a wrestler is in where there’s action.. trust me, it’s true.

And so, a decent line-up. I skipped Eric Roberts.. besides Best of the Best 1 or 2, he’s never been in anything decent. Even in those movies he was the lamest character.

There were a handful of actors that were offered roles, but due to something or the other, turned it down. I’m mainly talking about;

• Seagal – Didn’t like a producer or something. I’m sure his ego wouldn’t of alowed him to be a supporting role guy anyway
• JCVD – Jean Claude didn’t the depth of his character, or something retarded.
• Wesley Snipes – His pending jail/legal problems put a monkey wrench in his acting for now. He was up for Terry Crews role first.
• Kurt Russel – Was approached by Sly, but said he wasn’t interested in any large cast ensemble pieces right now.. 
• Danny Trejo – Unfortunately had to choose between Expendables and Machete, and went with Machete. No worries, both will rock.

That leads us to what might be the biggest moment in film history, ever. I’m not even exagerrating a bit..  EVER. Sly, Arnie and Bruce Willis team-up for a short cameo in the movie, the first time all three have been on the screen together. This is also the first film work Arnold has done in 6 years..  and given his governing term is getting close to an end, I’m really, really hoping he’s gonna start doing a few more roles again. It’s a given he’ll never be back in Conan shape, but hey, he could still pull off a True Lies 2, maybe even a King Conan role, come on Arnie..  back on that action movie horse!

Awesome.. awesome.. awesome..