Written by Hey everyone, sorry this post’s a bit late coming. I know your dying do hear my review of the Expendables considering I’ve been littering the blog here for months with Expendable material. I thought I’d wait until we had a chance to doa review on the podcast, and then post up some of the major points I thought were important about the movie.
To start with, Sly, you are a son of a bitch. Yeah, you’ve had fantastic action movies over the years. Some of my personal favorites include Cobra, Cliffhanger, Tango and Cash, and of course the Rockys and Rambos. I’ve spent a huge chunk of my personal time watching you crack skulls on the big screen, and of course dreaming of the day you and my idol, Arnie, could double team in some sort of action movie masterpiece. The reason I call you a son of a bitch is that you manage to power out such fantastic movies when you pull the trifecta of writer, director and star, that it irritates me that you haven’t been doing this more. The thing is, you’re getting better at it, and I don’t want it to end. Rocky Balboa and Rambo (the new one, #4) were both so fricking good, and I’ll add Expendables to the list now, that I don;’t wnat to stop making movies anytime soon. Call me selfish.
So, it finally came this past weekend and I was able to make it out for opening night. Sure, it wasn’t what I might of ideally wanted, say a movie about 20 years ago, when everyone was still big, ripped and in shape, but it was there, and it was what it was. Arnie and Sly sharing the big screen, side by side, in the same movie frame. Swapping a few smart ass remarks back and forth. I got my $10 worth of admission right there. Yeah, Bruce Willis was there, and as much as I love Bruno, he’s not the 80′s powerhouse star that Sly and Arnie were. It would of been great to see a good ol’ Predator like hand lock/bicep greeting, or something similar, but instead I got a dick sucking reference.. ? Hmm, ok, anyway, my point is it happened, and I feel like I’m a better person for bearing witness to it.
Ok, down to the nitty gritty. Was it a good movie? As with most movies, it really depends on your expectations. I got my money’s worth just knowing these actors were gonna share the screen together. I wasn’t expecting a solid plot or a-list acting, I just wanted some good one liners and some violent action. I got all that so I was tickled pink.
I don’t think it measures up to alot of the action boomers of the 80′s, but in an age where the pure action movie has been bumped aside, it was fun and refreshing. In terms of Sly’s best, I’d probably put it about number 5 or so.
Jason Statham and Sly are the primary characters, with everyone else serving as background for the merc team or bad guys. Of course, I had no problem with any of the casting, except for maybe Randy Couture. I’m a big UFC fan, and even though he’s a cage fighter and bad ass dude in real life, he just doesn’t look or sound like a hardended army vet on the big screen. He actually looks a little too nice. Kudos for Sly bringing in a bunch of MMA guys in general though, as most of the general’s army were made up of real MMA fighters.
I had a few problems with some of the choices Sly made with the actual filmaking part, mostly the ol’ shaky cam technique. I dont know anyone in the world who appreciates an action scene filmed like this. I don’t even know why the hell this technique was even invented. To make things look more realistic? To make it look more action packed than it is? To hide filming flaws? I don’t know, but I know it irritates the hell out of me. I want to watch in painstaking detail as Jet Li jumps in the air and boots someone in the noggin, not have to try and decipher who the hell is even on the screen kicking. 80′s movies had no shaky cam.. clear, crisp muscle laden scenes, with the odd cheesey slo-mo moment. No shaky cam.
Aside from a few things like that, I really enjoyed the rest of it. The action was violent and uncompromising. It wasn’t on the scale of Rambo in it’s sheer brutality, it was actually a little more fun. My favorite scene was sort of at the beginning where Sly and Statham go to stake out the island, narrowly fight their way off the island, and then as they’re flying away in the Expenda-plane, decide to make a fly by accompanied by some hot head. Damn that was a crazy scene, and lots of nameless soldiers die. Actually, throughout the whole movie, they die in droves.
The soldiers are probably all regular dudes with family and kids, and are getting slaughtered mercilessly because of a couple bad seeds. It sort of shows that the Expendables are pretty bad guys, but your cheering for them. It’s what you showed up to see, and Sly just keeps feeding these nameless guys to the slaughter. There’s one point sort of at the climax of gunfight at the end, where everyone is dying and stuff is blowing up, and Terry Crews is going to town with his automatic shotgun spewing out detonating rounds that I thought just for a second, they might just pan out and blow up the world. It was intense..
A few other minor issues, the guys I liked didn’t get as much screen time as I would of wanted. I mean, going in I knew Arnie had a bit part, that’s fine, but I really wanted Dolph in it more. He looked like an absolute monster in this, especially when he’s fighting Jet Li.
Where do we go from here? Well, the rumours point to Sly working on a sequel as we speak, and damn rights he should be. Expendables took in a healthy 35 million on it’s opening weekend, and as of this past weekend, it hit the 100 million mark. Not too fricking shabby. Beyond that, the movie is gonna clean up on video sales/rentals when it gets there.. especially if it can make it out before Christmas. Here’s hoping that the Expendables sequel will keep Sly busy enough to stay away from that horrible sounding Rambo 5 movie.. where he fights super soldier werewolves or something? The early sequel rumours point to Willis as the bad guy, with the hopes of Arnie leading the bad guy crew.. tee hee hee!! It might be to good to be true, but here’s hoping.
In terms of action movies, I’d give the Expendables a solid 7 headkicks out of 10. A lot of fun, although some flaws crpet through for me. Hurry up on that sequel Sly, but of course wait for Arnie so he can be in it.
