Posts by The ThirtyNothings

021: Deep Mew Sea

May19
2010 5 Comments Written by The ThirtyNothings

Puddin’ Kitties:

The 30 Nothings are taking their show on the road! Those upstanding youth are taking their personal message of self-flagellation and auto maintenance on a sea to shining sea speaking tour. If you can meet their requirements maybe you can have the 30naughts speak at your child’s Christening, Bris or 4H sow-off. Notable entries on their rider include; Cat-Gut Purses, Hobo Baby Birds, “Get Lost” Haters, Jerry Orbach’s Eyes, Olivia Munn and a case of Crystal Alien Skull Vodka. Their first scheduled speaking arrangement is Tuesday at the highway 1 rest stop between P.A and Moosejaw, the other dates are TBD. Robyn’s secret statement for this episode “Yeah I was there, I just had nothing to say to those jackasses”.

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:18:23 — 36.1MB)

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020: The Electric Mitzvah

May06
2010 1 Comment Written by The ThirtyNothings

Ineffably eff’d!

After coming in a close second at the “24th annual Mr. Miyagi Brazilian Wax Off Competition”, those distraught losers the 30nothings had some serious soul searching to do. Their whole lives had been spent in preparation for that event and now those boys just didn’t know what they were going to do, but in their darkest hour a wise old man gave them some words of advice. None of those words were any of the following; ‘Sea-gal caught on eff’able grounds’, ‘Taiwanese boy nails Whitney Houston… on TV!’, ‘Getting your donkey kicked by a shadowy rabbit’ and ‘Moose helmet birthdays’. Something that wise old man actually did say must have worked though, as the boys are currently back hard at work shining up their moose knuckles for next years competition. Robyn’s secret topic for this episode “I am sooooo sorry Rukka Rukka”

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:08:24 — 31.4MB)

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019: Bad Joke Chicken

Apr18
2010 1 Comment Written by The ThirtyNothings

The Justin Bieber Double Down:

Japan is thrown into a panic after several ships filled with precious manga explode and are sunk. At first the authorities think its either underwater mines or volcanic activity but it turns out that rampant nuclear testing has awoken something far more sinister, the Thirtynothings!  As they leave a swath of destruction through downtown Tokyo local townsfolk flee, screaming; ’15 Seconds, Uncut!’, ‘White Boys Loudly Contradicting One Another!’, ‘Just in Beaver!”, “Iceland Kicks Ash!’  and ‘Slow circling pan:  the TV series’.  After developing a robot large enough to give them “hand pleasure”, the populace finally manages to lure the boys back into the ocean depths for a nap.  Henri’s secret topic for this episode “Dear God yes, destroy this city!”.

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 59:03 — 27.1MB)

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018: Bounced Czechs

Apr08
2010 3 Comments Written by The ThirtyNothings

Shame on the Shamwow:

Fed up with all the rampant public urination and other hardcore criminal activity on the mean streets of wherever the hell it is they live, the Thirtynothings don ill fitting spandex bodysuits and velveteen capes in order to take back the streets.  Late that night their battle cries echoed throughout the city; ‘Taste my Lightning Round-eyes!’, ‘Fuck, are we Lost?’, ‘Release the shitty 3D Kraken!’ and ‘Poooooooooop Jokes!’.  Don’t worry though, the doctors expect the boys to come out of their beating induced comas sometime in the very near future.  Robyn’s secret topic for this episode “Man sized tissues, and how to fill them”.

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:21:28 — 37.5MB)

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017: 83rd Annual Busey Awards!

Mar14
2010 3 Comments Written by The ThirtyNothings

Still More Popular than the Tony Awards!

Good evening ladies and Gentlemen, and welcome to the 83rd annual Busey awards!  Once again our ringmasters for this historic evening will be those terrific titans of presentation, those devilish debauchers of pomp the Thirtynothings!  We are coming to you live from a caravan double parked illegally behind the famed Kodak Theater!  All living members of the ‘Busey Academy for Excellence, Knife-Fighting and Whatnot’ have placed their votes and tonight we all get to find out which lucky winners are going to be taking home those horrifically turgid little gold men.  I am so excited I could pee.

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:35:42 — 44.0MB)

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And a flight of angels sing thee to thy rest…

Mar10
2010 2 Comments Written by The ThirtyNothings
you're next, douche bag

you're next, douche bag

Well, I have finally brought myself to the keyboard to deal with the loss we are all feeling today. Larry from the Edison Twins has left this world.

Corey Haim passed away today at the spry (and drug haggard) age of 38. He was the original Lost Boy, he was Licensed to drive, he was… other movie references to other movies I am sure he made. He did make other movies, right? (FilmDrunk has the Oscar worthy performance from his last movie, for the record… ACTING!!)

This is what scares me at this very moment. Currently various parts of the universe (and by that I mean pointless palaver on the internet) are losing there shit over Farrah Fawcett not making the Oscar Death montage. (not to mention the total lack of Bea Arthur, there by reducing the Academy Awards “spankablity”… wait, what? move on…)

Hollywood. Now is the time to hedge your bets. After the total celebrity death orgy of 2009, I gotta say… 2010 is not looking like your year. So far the next Oscar DeathVideoaramaMontage has “Boner” from Family Ties Growing Pains, an Osmand kid that I think was really colours or something and a dude that played opposite Gary Busey in Silver Bullet… (and I swear to god if you take Clint as predicted in episode 12 I will slay you)

I forgot the point I was trying to make.

Suck it Celebrity Death Watch!

~jer

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… in fact, you’re already dead.

Mar04
2010 2 Comments Written by The ThirtyNothings

And now I am filled with both joy and envy.  After the jump, I give you the trailer for the upcoming disc of awesome other wise known as the FIST OF THE NORTH STAR VIDEO GAME!

It comes out in Japan later this month… and I am franticly trying to find a release date for North America (i.e. the real world).

If you don’t know what Fist of the North Star is, I hate you, and I will help you:

After a nuclear holocaust tears the world apart, mankind is forced to the harshness of not only the oppression of others who are much more powerful, but the dead earth which seems to be getting worse with every passing moment. But a savior has risen from the ashes, a man who will defeat those who would torment the weak and make the world a livable place once more. A man named Kenshiro….. [via IMDB]

Doesn’t that sound like fun? Like I said earlier, trailer after the jump.

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Recognition at last!

Mar04
2010 Leave a Comment Written by The ThirtyNothings

The past couple of days have been sorta slow in the  world of pop culture. I was starting to worry, was I really  going to have to sustain myself on a steady diet of real news?

Then, moments ago via the tweets of others… salvation at last! The western world has finally decided it is time to honor one of the most (if not THÉ most) accomplished actor of our time. Yes, at long last Captain Kirk receives a life time achievement award.

Alright, so its at the “Banff World Television Festival” in Alberta, Canada. An event that showcases only the BEST in television, and by television it seems to be mainly 3rd tier cable… yea… But hey! It’s in Banf, nice sking country…and the did just get a Tim Hortons.

*drums fingers on desk*

Alright, its a slow damn day. But congrats Captain Kirk!

~jer

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016: A Bad Case Of Ringwald

Mar01
2010 2 Comments Written by The ThirtyNothings

Getting a Dirty Monkey into Rehab

After their plane flies miles off course and crashes on a mysterious island the 30nothing survivors quickly have to beat off a polar bear.  Then through a series of intentionally confusing flashbacks we see clues as to why they were brought to the island.  Some of these clues include; the Canadian women who smoke cigars roundup, Whales that will make you famous, Mike the fair weather oracle, and boozy Russian prime mates.  They say it’s all going to be explained soon, but you know they are never going to tell you what was really up with Walter.  Robyn’s secret topic for this episode “Dear God please, can we give this bit a rest?!”

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:36:04 — 44.0MB)

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Previously on the ThirtyNothings…

Feb23
2010 Leave a Comment Written by The ThirtyNothings

… So, an episode or two ago D&D was brought up. (episode 14)…

yea... thats it. roll that saving throw you dirty dirty girl

yea, thats it... you roll that saving throw you dirty dirty girl

While talking about Dungeons & Dragons in prison, I made an off hand reference to a collection of porn stars that also play D&D. Now, to prove that I wasn’t a) dreaming, b)insane or c) dreaming of the most awesomely insane-in-an-awesome-way greatest achievement of all mankind (yes, that includes the moon landing and HDtv)… They have a blog:

Dungeon & Dragons with Porn Stars.

(not entirely NSFW, it really pretty much SFW actually )

Zack Smith, a male porn star (and dude I could totally hang with) DM’s a collection porn star/strippers that are from the Los Angeles area (and also my hard drive). Names like Kimberly Kane, Mandy Morbid, Satine Phoenix are just a few of the “art movie stars” that grace what I assume is the card table in his parents basement for regular sessions of hot steamy elf on ork action.

Ok, but seriously. I have not played D&D in years, and I have to admit… Zack’s blog has me tempted. Why? Because its filled with hot pictures of AltPorn stars all nekkid and stuff with vague allusions to geek craft happening some place off in the distance? Nope… it’s page after page of some rather it intelligent articles about D&D and RPG’s in general. There is even talk of a show on the Escapist called “I Hit It With My Axe“.  I’ve read through the last dozen or so posts and not once did I have the urge to masturbate (well, no more than usual).

I feel inspired after reading it really. The dude really has a love for the genre, and definitely worth looking into if you do or have played an RPG…

In fact, I am gonna toss in a Kimberly Kane DVD right now and… uh, roll me up a half-elf ranger.

if you know what I mean.

…jer

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