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Well let’s start by saying it’s about damn time. Ever since Hercules In New York, we as a society have been craving a sequel. It’s a role that only Arnold could play, so I’m glad to see that they haven’t decided pander to the masses by switching to a younger actor. Their risk will be rewarded, as Arnold will completely own this movie. Forget tight, unwrinkled skin and a look of lucid intelligence. Arnold will be setting new trends in beauty and fashion once this comes out. And the makers of the new Conan film will be left to regret their decision to leave behind this god-like man.
The decision to move this installment of this soon-to-become-massive franchise to Los Angeles will prove to be a stroke of genius, as it is a well known fact that Arnold makes the light there take on a heavenly glow that will play well with his defining role as a god from another realm. And look at that poster! Have you seen that thatch of wizened gray chest hair? We should all bow before this man, who has not only essentially created the genre of “action film”, but also saved California, nay, the entire USA, from the brink of it’s own demise.
Mr. Schwarzenegger, we are eager to take the opportunity to honour you by spending an entire week watching this movie over and over at the theatre. The only complaint is that it should be presented in 4D (or even 5D!), as we are sure more Ds will be required to properly capture the essence of a man who transcends space, time and any other dimensions we may one day discover.
(Note: Image sourced from Screen Rant)
